09.10.08
Sarah Palin Fires Entire GOP Alaskan Delagation
AP - Anchorage
In a bizarre turn of events Wednesday night, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin returned to her home state into the welcome arms of the Alaskan GOP Party, which put on an elaborate rally in support of the Republican Vice Presidential candidate.
The awed Palin was seen mouthing the word, “Wow”, over and over again as she and husband Todd Palin passed their baby son back and forth to each other.
Shortly after the rally however, Governor Palin stunned the audience by saying, “Well I unfortunately don’t have a speechwriter for this occassion, so Alaska for one last time, it’s just you and me.”
At this the crowd proffered a deafening cheer.
Palin then proceeded to list all the names of the people who did not do her bidding when she was “just the Mayor of a tiny town with a $6 million dollar annual budget” in her words. The crowd listened in stunned silence as her voice rose and grew in anger.
Palin continued on with a litany of “unsupportive” and “faithless” people who disagreed with her during her 18 months as Governor of the state; and who refused to align themselves with her “vision of God’s plan.”
The feisty Republican then criticized the Alaskan GOP Party for not jumping to her defense the past few weeks when “the media smeared me”.
With a flick of the hand and nasal whine that would make the Donald himself green with envy, Palin squeeked into the mic, “You’re fired.”
Okay, so that was a silly farsicle. Now the Real Underlying Issue!
If Sarah Palin tried to fire the Wasilla Librarian for refusing to ban books; and allegedly fired a gov’t official for refusing to fire her ex-brother in law…Who else do you think she may have tried to …or wanted to…or thought of…or succeeded in firing…and for what?
Templeton said,
September 10, 2008 at 9:56 pm
She fired her chef. Supposedly to cut spending, but secretly because he refused to serve her roasted Polar Bear Burgers. Yumm.
Lauren said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:16 pm
I think she is dreaming of “firing” McCain. Seriously…
What is the difference between Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney?
Lipstick
Peter W. said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:21 pm
She fired Bristol for refusing to have a shotgun marriage on the way to the Republican Convention.
Synco said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:39 pm
She fired over 9,000 innocent moose & wolves, just for being alive…Sorry, I meant she fired AT over 9,000 innocent moose & wolves…just for being alive.
Sane Politics said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:45 pm
As VP she plans to fire the Secretary of Education - if he doesn’t ban science!
Sarah Go Home said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:47 pm
She wants to fire the entire fitness & fashion industry. Women shouldn’t be able to control our own bodies - that’s the Republicans’ job.
Anna said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I love these - please keep them coming!
Debora said,
September 11, 2008 at 5:06 am
I think she might want to fire some of her Wasilla friends… they were on Good Morning America and only one would commit to supporting her for VeePee.
Fire your friends Sarah. Make their lives miserable… they’re not being supportive…
Frank said,
September 11, 2008 at 9:07 am
I guess Sarah will fire any of her staff who had not been
pregnant before their eighteenth birthday because that
will bring her reputation into question as ROLE-MODEL
MUM.
wake up America your ‘Economy is not stupid’.You deserve
better than this clown.
Frank.
( Ireland )
Trianderboy said,
September 11, 2008 at 11:55 am
She’s looking into how to fire Deepak Chopra, for writing this:
Obama and the Palin Effect
Deepak Chopra - September 04, 2008
Sometimes politics has the uncanny effect of mirroring the national psyche even when nobody intended to do that. This is perfectly illustrated by the rousing effect that Gov. Sarah Palin had on the Republican convention in Minneapolis this week.
On the surface, she outdoes former Vice President Dan Quayle as an unlikely choice, given her negligent parochial expertise in the complex affairs of governing. Her state of Alaska has less than 700,000 residents, which reduces the job of governor to the scale of running one-tenth of New York City. By comparison, Rudy Giuliani is a towering international figure. Palin’s pluck has been admired, and her forthrightness, but her real appeal goes deeper.
She is the reverse of Barack Obama, in essence his shadow, deriding his idealism and exhorting people to obey their worst impulses . In psychological terms the shadow is that part of the psyche that hides out of sight, countering our aspirations, virtue, and vision with qualities we are ashamed to face: anger, fear, revenge, violence, selfishness, and suspicion of “the other.”
For millions of Americans, Obama triggers those feelings, but they don’t want to express them. He is calling for us to reach for our higher selves, and frankly, that stirs up hidden reactions of an unsavory kind. (Just to be perfectly clear, I am not making a verbal play out of the fact that Sen. Obama is black. The shadow is a metaphor widely in use before his arrival on the scene.)
I recognize that psychological analysis of politics is usually not welcome by the public, but I believe such a perspective can be helpful here to understand Palin’s message. In her acceptance speech Gov. Palin sent a rousing call to those who want to celebrate their resistance to change and a higher vision.
Look at what she stands for:
–Small town values — a denial of America’s global role, a return to petty, small-minded parochialism.
–Ignorance of world affairs — a repudiation of the need to repair America’s image abroad.
–Family values — a code for walling out anybody who makes a claim for social justice. Such strangers, being outside the family, don’t need to be heeded.
–Rigid stands on guns and abortion — a scornful repudiation that these issues can be negotiated with those who disagree.
–Patriotism — the usual fallback in a failed war.
–”Reform” — an italicized term, since in addition to cleaning out corruption and excessive spending, one also throws out anyone who doesn’t fit your ideology.
Palin reinforces the overall message of the reactionary right, which has been in play since 1980, that social justice is liberal-radical, that minorities and immigrants, being different from “us” pure American types, can be ignored, that progressivism takes too much effort and globalism is a foreign threat.
The radical right marches under the banners of “I’m all right, Jack,” and “Why change? Everything’s OK as it is.” The irony, of course, is that Gov. Palin is a woman and a reactionary at the same time. She can add mom to apple pie on her resume, while blithely reversing forty years of feminist progress.
The irony is superficial; there are millions of women who stand on the side of conservatism, however obviously they are voting against their own good. The Republicans have won multiple national elections by raising shadow issues based on fear, rejection, hostility to change, and narrow-mindedness.
Obama’s call for higher ideals in politics can’t be seen in a vacuum. The shadow is real; it was bound to respond. Not just conservatives possess a shadow — we all do. So what comes next is a contest between the two forces of progress and inertia.
Will the shadow win again, or has its furtive appeal become exhausted? No one can predict. The best thing about Gov. Palin is that she brought this conflict to light, which makes the upcoming debate honest. It would be a shame to elect another Reagan, whose smiling persona was a stalking horse for the reactionary forces that have brought us to the demoralized state we are in. We deserve to see what we are getting, without disguise.
BarryOleola said,
September 11, 2008 at 11:58 am
As VP she promises to fire any government official who won’t support the “Fair Trade Act” : a fair trade between gov’t workers & oil companies of sex for oil.
sillywhabbit said,
September 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I hear she wants to go after the biggest corporation on Earth…you know the SHAREHOLDERS of America…We the people. Since she is a celebrity now, maybe she can guest a season of The Apprentice.
Pammy said,
September 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm
She’ll defiinitely fire all the female interns in the White House. She doesn’t want any competition for John’s attention when she’s in the oval office, down on her knees.
Pam
(from Alaska)
BB said,
September 11, 2008 at 7:45 pm
She’ll fire Congress for not supporting the goddamn Bridge.
She’ll fire eBay for not selling the goddamn plane.
She’ll fire the goddamn convention speechwriters who have exposed her fucking lies.
She’ll fire God for getting her pregnant for the fifth goddamn time.
She’ll fire Hillary Clinton and the entire sisterhood of liberal goddamn pantsuit bitches.
She’ll fire her entire family for having to expense them at the expense of the goddamn Alaskan taxpayers.
She’ll fire Charlie Gibson because his softball questions were too goddamned fucking hard.
She’ll fire Mitt Romney because he looked fucking sideways at her at the goddamned convention.
She’ll fire Al Gore for inventing goddamn global warming.
She’ll fire the guy who made her fake fucking eyeglasses then telling the goddamn Media they’re not real.
She’ll fire Ted Stevens because she supported the goddamned crooked sonovabitch.
She’ll fire Miss Alaska, the black bitch who beat her and is now voting Obama.
She’ll fire Joe Biden before he opens his goddamn debating mouth.
She WON’T however fire the nutjob fundamentalists who back her because she’s one of them.
But she will fire you Anna for posting this goddamn fucking post. Goddamnit!
Take this post down before she gets NATO to goddamn bomb your female ass, you… woman you!
Anna said,
September 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm
OMG - that was hilarious!
Joanna said,
September 11, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Did she fire her husband’s business partner after whoring herself out to him?
Anna said,
September 12, 2008 at 12:39 pm
And…maybe she’ll be forced to fire herself after the outcome of Troopergate!! (One can hope!)
nancy said,
September 12, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I definitely, definitely think she wants to fire Campbell Brown!!
Go Campbell!!!
freida said,
September 12, 2008 at 11:06 pm
You know she’s dreamin of firing Charlie Gibson. Or getting someone in Russia to do it, since they are next-door-neighbors.
PeteMathews said,
September 12, 2008 at 11:09 pm
She tried to fire Gustav for having the nerve to interrupt the GOP convention. She’s trying to blackmail God into firing Ike, because she wants her first-ever interview to be the top story of the day. But God is not complying, so she may have to fire Him too. In her view, it’s the only Christian thing to do.