03.13.08
Trouble in Paradise
Oh My God!
I got a call at work from Hottie. His voice sounded ominous. A few seconds of obligatory small talk and then, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something…when can I see you?”
I told him I couldn’t see him tonight because I was working till late and couldn’t get out of it. He wanted to make plans for Sunday night when I got back from Arizona, but I told him that now I was all curious and couldn’t wait that long. (I tried to be playful and not sound panicked.)
He basically said how much he likes me and he sees “this” having “long term potential”. He said, “You’re someone I could see myself with, but…” (I was waiting for the “but”). He met me about 1 month after his relationship ended with “B” his ex, and he just isn’t ready for another serious relationship yet.
He said he thought about this a lot because he wants to be fair to me. And he is torn because he wants to be with me, but is just not ready.
I said we’ve only been on a few dates and what’s the rush anyway? And where did he get the impression I was dying to be in a relationship? (I was feeling defensive and a little taken for granted that he’d assume I wanted a relationship with him - I want the guy to at least court me a little!!)
He said there’s no rush but he was already starting to have feelings for me, and he didn’t know if it was mutual. So “before we go there”, he wanted to be very upfront and honest.
Well, I respect his integrity and character…
We left it open. I wasn’t sure how to react. I’m not ready for a relationship yet either, I think we need to date more. But on the other hand, what if he needs a long time, like 6 months or something? And in the meantime does that mean he just wants to sleep around? See me and other women? That’s not something I can handle. I guess I’ve gotta clarify…
I’m definitely disappointed and feel let down, but I’m also strangely at peace with it.
Miriam D said,
March 14, 2008 at 6:07 am
I wouldn’t freak yet… I think it’s great that he was upfront with you. He’s not trying to pretend, and that I think can be way worse.
Dinkerwald said,
March 14, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Oh my, oh my, just try and be happy and it gets crazy. Damn girl, DO NOT contact the ex, that crap is over!
It’s difficult I’m sure ( not I know, ’cause how would I presume to know? ) but it’s not the end of the world, well maybe a little.
Kelly said,
March 14, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Bonus points for being upfront…but taking those away for jumping the gun…grrrr…and they say WE are the hard ones to read! ha
A Lil' Irish Lass said,
March 16, 2008 at 5:29 am
Ugh that sucks. But I agree with Kelly - bonus points for being upfront. Maybe pulling back right now will make him realize how much he is into you and it will, in the end, draw you two closer together.
ShyGirl said,
March 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I think you shouldn’t wait around for him. You seem like a great girl and between Wally & this guy, you have not had a man that deserves you. Why not hold out for a guy who is crazy for you *and* ready?