02.21.08
Now I’m seeking advice for a more practical problem.
For the past several months that I’ve been with Jameson, I have spent the night with him at his parents house in Reno three times. Here’s the thing: Jameson’s dad smokes cigars IN THE HOUSE and the place reeks of it. The first time I was there, I didn’t say anything because it was Christmas, and they were so excited to meet me, and I really wanted to make a good impression. The next couple of times, I STILL didn’t say anything because I couldn’t think of a nice way to say that I aboslutely hate going over to his parents’ house/ashtray. The last time I was there, I was so bothered by the smell (of course, it building up in my mind) that I had a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep and I felt like the smoke in the air was perrmeating my skin. The kicker? JAMESON DOESN’T NOTICE THE SMELL AT ALL! Not even when we get back to his place and all our clothes smell like smoke.
We’re suppopsed to take the road trip back to his parents’ in Reno this weekend. His mom and dad emailed me and said that they were excited that I was coming. Jameson’s thrilled about going home. Me? Notsomuch. I love his parents and I think Reno would be fun for the weekend, but I am dreading staying in that ashtray for two whole nights. I just know that I’ll never feel clean, and I doubt that I’ll be able to sleep.
What can I do? I certainly don’t want to offend Jameson and his family when they’ve been nothing but sweet to me…
Kenzie said,
February 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm
This is def a tuffy. The smell of smoke gives me an immediate headach, and I try to make that clear to anyone that might help that happen. Just try to explain to Jameson how you feel, or that it makes you feel sick or something. Maybe he can say something to his parents like..air freshener or open a window or something.
That’s all I can think of…sorry!
blogging barbie said,
February 22, 2008 at 7:56 am
definitely a toughie….but how about the allergies card? that might work…
Margarita said,
February 22, 2008 at 9:23 am
I am so with you on that one. Smoking in the house is awful. Can you invent asthma? Say smoke triggers it sometimes and you just had an attack the other day?
And what Kenzie said.
Dora said,
February 22, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Could you suddenly develop an alergy? Its not like its your fault or anything, how can you help an alergy?
Or… you can get very dramatic and start coughing…a lot!!! hack up alung if you have to.
Sorry, its the best I can do. If it was me, I would tell my boyfreind that as much as I loved his parents, the smoke was too much for me. Its not like in the sixties, where no one knew how dangerous second hand smoke was. Personnaly cigar smoke makes me gag and throw up. Can’t stand it at all and I am an ex-smoker.
Shy-Girl said,
February 22, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I would think about the broader picture, as well as the wise comments above. What is your objective? Do you want to cancel the trip? Stay at a hotel? Get them to douse with air fresheners and open windows for 2 days in advance? Your intended outcome might influence the way you present your case, and…your exact excuse. (Tho I have to say, I love the suggestions you’ve gotten so far.)
Miriam D said,
February 25, 2008 at 7:30 am
Hm, I like the allergy suggestion… this is a toughie though. I understand, I HATE cigarette smoke and both my boyfriend and roommate are addicts.
Try talking to Jameson first and see what he says. He might have some helpful suggestions, I don’t know his parents at all, and I think your approach to them depends on what they are like!
Bexxie said,
February 26, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Definitely voice your concerns to Jameson - health wise plus the rest.
I know when we went to visit AT’s folks at xmas .. we stayed in a motel. It was AT’s idea actually .. mainly from a making me feel comfortable point of view. Plus it was nice to have that little “us” time break .. ya know?
Annie said,
March 3, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Is this house your house?
How often do you go there?
Do you not think for a few days you could afford to bear the smell just to keep the peace??
I don’t know too many people willing to make adjustments in their own house. My advice, You aren’t there all the time, it’s once in a while, don’t make a huge deal out of it. Life is way too short to dwell on pettiness, especially if you are really not allergic.