12.10.07
How to Deal with Jealousy Issues
Ok, well, now we know that I really really like this one. (Okay, I love him. Sigh.) I’ve known this for quite some time, of course, because of how good he is to me, because of how well we fit together, because he can make me laugh. But, until now, it has been a sort of insular kind of love, something shared between the two of us - a bubble that we created. And I say “until now” to mean, “until the night of his company’s Christmas party.”
Jameson works at a fairly large company, with a pretty elaborate Christmas party. (Open bar? Yes, please.) I knew exactly no one there besides him, and I was debuted as “the new girlfriend.” This was fine with me - and I had picked out a new silver-blue dress to debut myself - until about an hour or so into the party when everyone started loosening up. (Damn you, open bar!) It suddenly seemed to me that all the co-workers that were coming up to him were female, and it also suddenly seemed to me that they all were giving me the once over, and FLIRTING WITH MY MAN ANYWAY.
And instead of being excited and happy to spend time with him and get to know his work friends, I started to get really insecure. It dawned on me that he had a whole other life that I barely knew about, surrounded by tons of other women that I wasn’t aware of. (22 year old, beautiful women! I am most definitely NOT 22 years old.) I realized that he existed outside of the safe relationship bubble that we created. God, do these women flirt with him on a daily basis? Does he talk about me with them? Why have I never heard him mention this Josie before and why does she seem like a taller thinner version of me?
Yup, my friends, it was no bueno. So I gave myself a stern talking to: “Self: He is the same guy you fell in love with. If he wanted to date Josie, or one of the billion other girls he works with, he would have done so and would not have pursued you. Clearly, you have something to offer the relationship, there is a reason why he loves YOU, why he comes home to YOU, why he chooses YOU.” And I managed to rein in my passive aggressive bitchiness and managed to avoid any drama this weekend.
And this morning? He sent me an email that said, “Everyone teases me that all my sentences start with, ‘My girlfriend…’ I’m so glad that everyone got to meet you and see just how fantastic you are!” Sigh. I knew I loved him for a reason.
Amy said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:40 am
awww. We ALL have moments like that. his response to it all was PERFECT. hee
Clink said,
December 11, 2007 at 7:39 am
I agree with Amy - how awesome was that email? Look, I have been there. Actually, in that exact situation (at the holiday party). And it sent me into a spiral of insecurity. But the truth is, if he wanted to be with Josie, he’d be with Josie.
He’s not with Josie, he’s with you. And apparently he has no problems letting everyone know it.
KellyB said,
December 11, 2007 at 9:26 am
Soo freaking adorable
I can understand why you would feel that way…but so happy that you had that talk with yourself…and so happy that your fabulous man new exactly what to say…and when 
Def. a keeper
Courtney said,
December 11, 2007 at 11:29 am
Good for you for not letting the drama/insecurity get in the way. I would have let it. Still do with my husband : )
Lil' Irish Lass said,
December 12, 2007 at 6:46 am
Ooh! God for you! I like him more and more with each post I read
AmyD said,
December 12, 2007 at 9:58 am
Awww!!! Good lordy, you are so GROWN UP with this guy! I’m loving it…mostly because you didn’t cause a scene, didn’t bring it up to him, and he STILL somehow managed to make you feel completely loved, appreciated, and relaxed about something that would have freaked just about any newly-in-love woman. Well done!!