11.08.07
One final secret.
Dear Jameson,
Please please please do not misunderstand. I love our relationship, and I am very serious about you. I could truly see us going the distance, you could really be “the One.”
So I have to confess: I called Sebastian. It wasn’t to flirt, it was honestly more out of…pity? I thought of him, lonely and alone, and my heart broke for him. I just wanted to know that he was ok. The conversation was straighforward - he regrets how he treated me, but didn’t (couldn’t) vow to change. I told him I had moved on and that I know what I want and I know he can’t give it to me. We can’t be friends, but I want us to be on good terms.
And I can never tell you this. And I know how unfair this seems, and how, if it were me and you were calling your ex and not telling me because you claim it was nothing at all I would be totally heart broken. Furious. Hurt. But if I told you, I feel like I’d break more than your heart. I’d break us. And I really couldn’t bear that.
So I’m not going to contact him anymore. He knows where I stand and how I feel. And so please, let’s never speak of this ever again.
Love, Nicole.
Sarah said,
November 8, 2007 at 11:52 am
Nah, you don’t have to confess to him. Jameson is where you’re heart lies. He’s your future, so there’s no reason to hurt him with the past.
libby said,
November 8, 2007 at 4:15 pm
sometimes you just need to make peace to have that sense of closure. for you and you alone…and for the benefit of this new start with j.
*kb* said,
November 9, 2007 at 7:42 am
You did nothing wrong Nicole! Don’t feel guilty. You needed to close that door and the fact you told Sebastian that you can’t be friends, well that speaks volumes on how you feel about Jameson!
blogging barbie said,
November 9, 2007 at 8:07 am
we all need closure.
i’m glad you finally got it. do not feel guilty, honey. you did the right thing.
xo, bb
AmyD said,
November 9, 2007 at 10:13 am
And THAT, my friend, is what you call CLOSURE… :o)
Dinkerwald said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Yeah sure! If it was the other way around all you “isn’t that nice, she has closure” romantics would be calling to hang Jameson by his thumbs ’till the flesh rotted from his bones, spread the word he’s a jerk and not speak of him kindly ever again.
And, if he did it and kept it from you because “let’s never speak of this again”, and six years from now you found out about it, his clothing would be waiting for him in a pile in the garden (or in the hall or the car park) and the key would not fit the door latch.
Pompous group, all of you.
100 Different Things » Blog Archive » Please tell me I’m not all alone here. said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:28 pm
[…] about Dinkerwald’s comment in the previous post: I actually debated whether I should approve it or not. Because while I don’t mind the […]
Sarah said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Ah, Dinky, no link to your blog? It must be fun to blast people on other blogs without allowing the return gesture…
Miriam said,
November 15, 2007 at 8:10 am
Well, I sometimes think about emailing my ex. Not sure if I would tell the current boyfriend, but we all go through that moment. Some of us go through with it, and some (like me) just sit back and wonder what if.
Also, if my boyfriend called his ex, yeah I would be mad at first, but if he told me it was about closure and not about flirting, after I get over my initial I-hate-you rant, I’d believe him and forgive him. Because I love him. So take that, Dinkerwhatever.
AmyD said,
November 20, 2007 at 8:12 am
WOO HOO!! Some faceless troll thinks I’m “pompous!” For a DINK, he’s pretty insightful, no?
*YAWN*