10.04.07
Posted in Dating Diaries at 3:46 pm by Anna
Thomas left for Florida today. He’s visiting his parents in Fort Lauderdale for 5 days. He wanted me to come but I couldn’t get the time off work.
I actually miss him. It’s not the aching pain like when I missed Wally, but I do feel the absence of his presence…He said he’ll still text me everyday. And he called before he took off and as soon as he landed, but I know he’s not here, just across town.
It’s weird, the past month I barely saw him but I knew I conceivably could - so I didn’t miss him that much - for the whole month. But now that I know he’s far away, it’s been less than a day and I’m upset…funny how the mind works, isn’t it?
I have to be really honest though…I still miss Wally too…But when I think of Thomas I feel respected; when I think of Wally I feel overwhelming love…and resignation…Why does it have to be so hard?
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10.02.07
Posted in Dating Diaries at 1:29 pm by Nicole
Last night I dreamt that Jameson told me he loved me. I was inordinately happy.
It was just a dream.
Recently, when I wake up next to him, the words start to roll off my tongue and I have to force my mouth shut so I don’t say them.
I’m not playing a game, I swear. I’ve just never been the girl that invests a lot of weight into those three words. After all, they are just words, what do they really mean, anyway? I’ve been in relationships where we’ve never said it to each other, but we showed it all the time. I’ve also been in relationships where the word was tossed around at the end of every phone call, after every goodbye, so frequently it was sickening, but I knew deep down that one of us was incapable of real love.
I don’t want that to happen with Jameson. I want to be sure that I love him and I want him to be sure that he loves me. I want us to get past the honeymoon phase and into real life - warts and all - a life that we can create with each other. I want there to be meaning behind the words. And if that takes time, or if we have to deal with some road blocks to get there, then that’s ok with me. I’ll just keep reminding myself that getting there is half the fun.
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10.01.07
Posted in L.A. Adventures, Dating Diaries at 6:07 pm by Anna
Oh My God! I met this friend of Thomas yesterday, we went to a romantic restaurant called Wilshire in Santa Monica for dinner. We sat on the candlelit patio, with the cool ocean breeze and Thomas’ hand slowly rubbing my thigh.
And then there she was. Quite possibly the most obnoxious LA brat I’ve ever met. Her name was Candie. She had bleached blonde platinum hair, huge boobs literally falling out of her shirt and so many beads she could have run a jewelry shop from our table.
She had this *loud* voice and she must have asked the waiter 12 questions about each dish on the menu before narrowing it down to 3, then to 2 then 1. Then onto the entrees. I was so embarressed. She talked about herself the entire time - like non-stop. And she tried to one-up everything we said.
Thomas thought it was funny, but didn’t seem to mind…I was seriously considering a tall glass of rat poison.
They say you can judge a man by his friends. I believe that is true to a certain extent, but I’m trying not to judge him just by one friend. I better meet some others…quick!
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