10.31.07

Backburnering romance. In a sexy nurse outfit.

Posted in Dating Diaries at 5:29 pm by Nicole

I haven’t really felt like partying, or going out, or being social now that I’m under the threat of unemployment.  Really, there is nothing like not having a job (and therefore no money) to put the brakes on any thoughts of good times.  It is Halloween and I could care less about dressing up or going to parties or even handing out candy.  I miss my old self.  The one that would go to drinks on a weeknight.  The one that would have taken a week to plan the perfect Halloween costume.  The one that wasn’t worried about…everything.  The one that had the aura that bad things didn’t happen to her.  (Some may say that I’m taking this potential layoff rather personally…I know.)

Oddly enough, Jameson doesn’t really mind.  He would rather stay in and watch movies than go out anyway.  But I feel like a bad girlfriend for being so mopey.  For only being able to talk about job interviews and my career path and worry - or, worse, not talk at all about anything and shutting him out from the gory details of my life.  I’ve never been good at the role of the victim.

So tonight, in an effort to revert back to Old Me (Me of Two Weeks Ago) I’m going to try and not worry about the future while pretending that I’m not worried at all.  I’ll put on my sexy nurse costume from two years ago, and try and just have a good time.  We’ll see how that goes.

In other news, I got a text message from Sebastian recently, and to which I haven’t responded:  “I still love you and hate myself for all the shit I’ve put you through.  I want you back so badly Nicole.”  Sigh.  This has DISASTER written all over it.

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