10.12.07
On feeling not-so-fabulous.
Recently, I’ve been feeling kind of “blah”. Not sick (that was last week, with the sore throat of death!), but just…down on myself. About a whole host of things, both superficial and substantive:
That I’m looking old and worn and not cute, that all my clothes are out-dated and inappropriate, that I’ve gotten fatter, that my hair will never be my friend.
That my apartment is a mess and I’ll never be on top of my laundry.
That my job is slowly sucking my soul right out of me, but I’m too afraid and caught up in the rat race to make any real change. And, even if I got up the courage to make a change, I am too timid to even know what I would actually want to do with my life. That my job will notice my apathy and fire me. That I’m more concerned about that the thought of getting fired than actually being without a job.
That I’m horrible with money and spend it like water. And I spend so much money buying stupid frivolous stuff that I won’t have enough money for the big things that I want (eventually).
That I’m a demanding girlfriend (he always cooks, does the grocery shopping, takes care of me), that I’m a bad friend because I’m always with Jameson, that I don’t allocate my time well, that I don’t do enough for others, that I’m always disappointing someone. I feel bad for my friends when I choose to stay in with Jameson and I feel bad for Jameson when I choose to go out with my friends.
That I’m un-interesting, do nothing for my community, know no culture, have no hobbies besides gossip mags and shopping. That I don’t have a purpose or a passion. That I’m a boring and dull person.
I tried to listen to fun upbeat songs to cheer myself up (”Fergalicious!”) but even that didn’t work. What do you guys do when you are feeling “blah”?
AmyD said,
October 12, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Who needs enemies when we’re so damn hard on ourselves for everyone, huh?? Sounds to me like you have a lot on your plate and are suffering from “Trying to fit it all in like a superstar” syndrome. I feel your pain, woman. The truth is, no one else notices most of the things you mention about yourself here - they are too busy feeling the same way about themselves!! ;o)
When I’m feeling completely overwhelmed or down on myself, I take a night to be completely alone, put on my jammies, and watch chick flicks while eating junk food and doing any of my bad habits that I don’t like anyone else to see. I know it sounds weird, since it pretty much brings me to doing more things I could feel bad about, but for some reason, it helps me get back to ME. When that doesn’t work, I go have drinks with the girls and bitch, complain, and rage it out. They are almost always sympathetic, and usually end up showing me they feel the EXACT way in their own lives. It helps me to feel less alone.
Cheer up and be good to yourself!! You deserve it.
Kelly said,
October 12, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Shop. Yup. And I’m not afraid to admit either. I shop and it picks me up. Even when I realize I shouldn’t have…I still do it.
onebigholiday said,
October 13, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I swear you were reading my mind and writing it on your site. Sometimes you just need to feel blah. You can’t be happy all the time.
libby said,
October 14, 2007 at 9:31 pm
i used to eat. NOT GOOD. it just makes me feel worse. and sometimes I cave now too, but i try not to.
i like to nap or go for a walk…do something, anything but think about how I’m feeling blah!
kristin said,
October 16, 2007 at 5:23 am
pride & prejudice & bojangles. unhealthy yet blissful.